I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he was CRYING into my vagina
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My life is pants optional.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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