Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
