Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
