i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
