I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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