After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
