You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
