i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
