You're so nebulous sometimes
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
