Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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