Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
