3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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