So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
