it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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