Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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