that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
