it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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