pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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