i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
