R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
