i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
