Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
