I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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