So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
