sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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