Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
