I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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