Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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