Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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