We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
