can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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