Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
