I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
