laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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