I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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