Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
