ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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