dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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