I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
