I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
