come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
