it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
