there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
