His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
