I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
