false alarm. still invincible.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
