i just had sex bonerless
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
