Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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