When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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