dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
