I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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