if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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